Remembering Ryan: A Birthday Bucket List Tradition to Honor a Loved One's Memory
When Leslie Harter-Berg's husband Ryan passed away unexpectedly, she decided to honor his memory by creating a special tradition for their sons. Harter-Berg found a list that Ryan had written in high school titled, "List of Things to Do Before Death," and she and her sons decided to check off one item from the list every year on Ryan's birthday, March 8. The family embarked on quirky adventures like dressing up as pirates, playing chess in the park, and building a 3-foot card tower with Ryan's friends. Each year, they celebrate Ryan's life and personality through these activities, creating lasting memories for their children.
The tradition has gained attention on social media, with one video of Harter-Berg sharing Ryan's list receiving over 6 million views on TikTok. The family's latest adventure involved starting piano lessons on Ryan's birthday, a skill that Ryan himself did not possess. Despite some daunting items on the list like bungee jumping, Harter-Berg is committed to honoring Ryan's memory in unique and meaningful ways. She has since remarried and welcomed a new son, who now joins in the birthday bucket list adventures.
In her book, "You're So Strong," Harter-Berg reflects on the challenges of blending old and new family dynamics while keeping Ryan's memory alive. The outpouring of support from strangers offering to help fulfill more items on the list has been heartwarming for Harter-Berg. She believes that the list resonates with people because it captures the essence of remembering loved ones and cherishing the little details that made them unique. Despite the pain of grief, Harter-Berg finds solace in the annual tradition of celebrating Ryan's life and allowing space for emotions.
As her sons grow older, Harter-Berg sees the value in preserving their father's legacy through the birthday bucket list. The tradition serves as a poignant reminder of Ryan's presence and the impact he had on their lives. While the loss is still deeply felt, the joy and connection that come from honoring Ryan's memory bring comfort and meaning to Harter-Berg and her family. The tradition continues to evolve, creating lasting bonds and cherished memories that keep Ryan's spirit alive.